Motherly Obsessions - not for the faint of heart

When you have a baby you become obsessed with things that you would never have given a second thought about before. You think and worry about everything they do. When your child is active you wonder if they have A.D.D. or are they just a "normal" active child? And when lethargic you wonder if they have a cold, a fever, the flu, cancer? Or are they just tired? You worry about your child's eating and sleeping habits. Is (fill in number here) enough hours of sleep for a child? What is too much? Did they get enough to eat? Are they growing enough or too much? Will they be stunted if they miss a meal? Did they just throw up that bottle because they are allergic to the formula, because they are sick or because I tried to feed them too much? Or perhaps they have stomach and intestinal issues?

Ask any mother of an infant about her child's poop and show real concern and you could spend all day on the topic. At least I did when my children were little. Well actually, if you ask my children now they would say I probably still could talk on this subject all day because the first question out of my mouth when they have a stomach ache is "When did you last poop? Was it soft, hard, runny?" For some of you this topic may turn your stomach and you may want to stop reading now, especially if you are eating, however I must have this intro so that you can understand what happened yesterday. And you must understand that some of us feel the same way about our pets that we do about our infants - thus the following story. . .

Two women. Neighbors. Standing outside a nice suburban home, with an overgrown garden and a few Halloween decorations on a gorgeous afternoon. Other neighbors are out putting things in their car, playing with their children and watching over the neighborhood. One of the two woman has a cute little black dog who loves to sniff around the other woman's kitchen looking for snacks that haven't been swept up, and afterwards he likes to go into her yard and poop. They laugh about this cute little black dog's habit as the house owner hands the dog owner a bag to use to pick up the poop, and then laugh more when the Dog owner needs a second bag for the poop head's second deposit.

"That's weird! His poop looks funny. Come see," Dog owner says to House owner.

House owner comes over to take a look. Poop is strange yellowish color and is made up of strange odd sized bits, and slightly resembles human baby poop. Dog owner picks up poop (using the plastic bag as a glove of course) to examine it more closely.

"What could he have eaten? Why does it look like that? What do you think that big thing is?"

Dog and House owner speculate on what cute little black dog could have put into his mouth and swallowed. Dogs, like small children, will eat almost anything. House owner examines poop in bag more closely and speculates. The big thing looks like a large seed pod or perhaps an insect sac.

"Squeeze it," House owner suggests.

Dog owner squeezes. Suddenly the big thing goes flying into Dog and House owners faces and bounces off of Dog owners shirt! Both scream, jump, and run all at the same time and then start laughing hysterically. Surrounding neighbors and cute little black dog look up from their activity and wonder about Dog and House owner's sanity. Through the tears and laughter Dog and House owner search for big thing in grass trying not to fall and roll into big thing in said grass in the fit of their hysterics. Big thing is found, picked up, and dignity is attempted to be restored, but hysterics continue causing stomach pains, and an exit to the house.

Later it is discovered that cute little black dog had eaten a paper plate. Dogs and children will eat anything, and mom's will continue to discuss and laugh about it.


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